Month: April 2018

Several years had passed since I left my family to live in the U.S.; it had never been my desire to come to this country, but life had other plans for me.  It had not been my husband’s wish to come back to his country either as he had started a business and it seemed that it was going to be successful, it was a hunting and fishing lodge.  We were beginning to get visitors and a person who visited several times was the U.S. Ambassador and other personnel of the Embassy; we also hosted a couple of photo journalists who worked for Field & Stream Magazine.

During those years, there was insurgency and a guerrilla movement in my country; we thought that we were too far away from the places where conflict was rampant; how wrong we were!  One day, a secretary from the embassy came and asked my husband to walk with him.  I had no idea what was discussed but afterwards, my husband told me that he had to leave right away because if he didn’t, the guerrillas were going to kill him.  And that’s the day my life changed!  It took fourteen months after my husband left for me to have my residency papers, and when I was called to the embassy to get them, my fate was sealed.  Eventually I too became a U.S. citizen.

Winter, spring, summer and fall came and went several times and my life became routine; I still didn’t drive and had to stay home with my children.  The day arrived when my first two sons went to school, and then the next and the next.  The children were growing so fast and being children, did naughty things such as:  raiding the pantry and fridge and the standard answers were:  Not me and I don’t know….. how I wish I had met those two people who lived in my home and never seeing them.  When one of the kids wouldn’t own up to something he or she had done, I would tell them:  “you know that I’m part indian and have the ability to read your foreheads and I will know who is not telling the truth”  My poor babies believed me!!  I would line them up, had them lift their hair off their forehead and I always nailed the guilty party.   That, of course, cemented their belief that mom could read foreheads!!  The reason I could accomplish that was because the guilty one would always lift the hair in a way that the hand will always cover the forehead…. Busted!!

Many years later, we were at the home of one of my daughters and as it was a summer weekend, some neighbors had come to grill and swim in the pool.  One couple had three kids, two girls and a boy, well, the boy was misbehaving and when the girls told on him, he denied everything his sisters told their parents; at that point, my daughter remembered what I did to them “reading their foreheads” asked the parents if they wanted to know who was the guilty party that because of my indian blood I could read in their foreheads who was misbehaving (of course, she explained to them how I did the forehead reading) The couple called their kids, lined them up, I asked them to lift their hair off their forehead, but before I could do the “reading”, the boy covered his forehead and owned up that he had been harassing the girls.  After that day, he was always threatened with me coming over their house to “read the foreheads”  Yeah, I know, mean old me!!

Having given birth to eight children four girls/four boys, (I call myself an equal opportunity mother) there was never a dull moment in my home.  I hated  winter time because the kids would go out to play in the snow, but kids being kids, it was unavoidable that as soon as they walked out the door, one would comeback running with the:  Mom, I need to go to the bathroom!!  And there I went peeling off layers of clothing starting with the mitts, cap, boots, snow suit, and then to put everything back on so he or she could go back outside.  It was a never ending task, a joy filled task, but a task none the less!!

’till next time!!

 

This is my 5th post….. wow!!

When I was growing up, my four siblings and I were always encouraged by our father to read, do crossword puzzles and help him with his stamp collection.  My dad would tell us that reading often made you remember words and improved spelling; crosswords exercised the mind and stamp collecting gave one the opportunity to learn about the world; he would tell us that the proper name was “filatelia”  Philately .  It was fun to see stamps from far away places and imagine what the places looked like.  My beloved dad would encourage us to learn the “scientific” terms when talking about animals and vegetation:  say  flora and fauna he would tell us; but the one name that stuck with me was “Hippocampus” which is the proper name for seahorse.  I loved saying that word as to me it sounded as if I was very knowledgeable!!  I’m sharing these things with you to give you an idea of why it was important for me to learn  English well.  So, because of the love of reading dad instilled on my siblings and me, I started to make the effort to read books and the newspaper, and following my dad’s example, I tried to teach my children the joy of reading. I remember that I was trying to read a book about Charles Oopan, a man from New Zealand who had escaped Nazi concentration camps in more than one occasion, the name of the book is:  The Mark of a Lion!!  Love that book, it really made an impression on me.  I wish I could find it to really read it now.

I was a very prolific mother and ended up having eight of the most awesome, thoughtful, caring, giving, faith filled and loving children, all of whom are now great grown ups with families of their own!

As I said before, seven of my children were born early, but the earliest was my sixth child who is the one born very premature.   Now, if we talk about number eight, a girl, the story changes.  I’m a petite woman barely 5 feet and memories; well, this child decided that she was too comfy in my tummy and chose to rent my womb for ten days passed my due date!   Oh boy, and I was big, could barely stand alone and was ordered to bed rest long before my “supposed due date”  I’m sure that some of you ladies will identify with not being able to see your feet, well, when I sat down my belly was a little bit beyond my knees.  In those days there was no such thing as choosing the date of delivery.  When my baby girl was born, she weighed nine and a half pounds, and when we came out of the hospital she wore an outfit for a three month old baby!!  Of all my children, this one girl is the one to whom I gave a lot of nick names.  My sweetheart baby girl is an awesome woman, who from the time she started earning an income began sending me a bouquet of a dozen roses, on her birthday to say thank you for giving her life…… that’s my sweet, thoughtful and loving Bumble Bee!!

Our life continued as with any other couple; we had our ups and downs, but always our children were at the forefront, they always came first.  My difficulties were that, if you remember, I came to this country as a young woman (barely 23 years old) with two young boys and now I found myself with eight; no family to turn to in moments of need; no friends to call at a moments notice because of an emergency and we lived in the country.  As I didn’t have a role model to follow as far as raising my children went, I literally winged it.  I became creative to manage my eight fireballs.

When one of my children misbehaved, I would start talking to them in English, at times I was so upset that the proper words escaped me, so I would switch to Spanish but if I was beyond angry, I would yell… yes, yell a word in Garifuna (a native tongue in my hometown) so then, when the kids would hear me yell MANIBA, (pronounced Mahneebah), there was immediate silence because they knew I was really angry. The word means be quiet but I choose to say: shut up!!

Tomorrow, more of my creative ways with my children…. ’till next time!!

Fourth entry of my Musings!!

It has occurred to me that in my previous post I shared with you about the birth of my daughter and how I said that “all of a sudden I felt a cramp”  and it hit me that I was implying that my labor lasted about an hour or less…… Nooooo, that was not the case.  I obviously had been having labor pains but ignored them because it didn’t bother me much.  So, there you have it.  I didn’t want you to think that I was an anomaly, I just didn’t suffer long with labor pain and also happen to have very high pain tolerance.

I’m beginning to enjoy this, a lot, even though I’m not very savvy about technology and keep bugging my kids for orientation as to how to do this or that.  All I know is how to turn the computer on and go to the site; same thing about the car, just know how to put gas in the tank and viola!!

For some reason I can fathom, right now I’m nervous.  Could it be that my nervousness is because I’m not sure if this is being seen and or read; I know, some friend have read it and some have left comments, but any one else?  Helloooooo!!!

Back on track.  When the time came around that I was going to spend my first Christmas in this country, I was very nostalgic missing my family, friends, foods (most of all my mom’s delicious tamales) the dances, and all the joy and laughter, as a result, I used to cry a lot.  Back in the country of my birth, Christmas is a time to share with family, friends  and neighbors.  In my home town we enjoyed the town’s fair when we could ride the ferris wheel and other rides.  My girl friends and I would walk around arm in arm enjoying the bingo and loteria games; to this day, I close my eyes and I can smell the delicious aromas of the local dishes being cooked such as rice and beans with coconut milk; pollo guisado (stewed chicken); pierna horneada (baked pork leg); pan de coco (bread made with coconut milk); pineapple pies; and the Kack-ic, a spiced turkey soup, yum!!  That first Christmas was one of the hardest for me:  No midnight mass; no dance; no rice and beans; no pierna horneada; no kack-ic; no staying up all night going from house to house visiting neighbors and friends, but worst of all, no hugs from my parents and siblings.  I not even had the comfort of hearing their voices because at that time it was almost prohibited to make a phone call, it cost almost $5 a minute to make a call!!  Yes, I felt very nostalgic and lonely.  Up to this day, nothing has ever made me forget those idyllic days of my care free youth!

When the new year came along and I was about to be here for a year, my English speaking and understanding had improved and I was able to carry out conversations.  Of course, since I’m a Spanish speaking person, I had, and still have,  an accent but I, to this day, tell people that I don’t hear an accent that it must be in their ears.

We didn’t own the place where we lived but stayed there three years; one day my husband came home and told me that we were moving as he was changing jobs.  When the day came for us to move, it was a little hectic because by then I had two more kids.  Our new home was some 50 miles north and this being a northern state, it was much colder.  I’m not going to claim that I had an ideal marriage or that it was easy going, no it wasn’t.  I haven’t told you that I had a May/December marriage and as a result, my husband was very jealous and I wasn’t allowed to visit neighbors nor was I able to go anywhere by myself.  My days were spent caring for my children and doing all the chores a woman and mother does in her home, but by then I had learned to cook which was a little triumph.  In this new place we had half an acre of land and we were able to plant vegetables and a flower garden.  It felt so good to go out into the vegetable garden to harvest fresh green beans, carrots, corn, lettuce and other things; there’s nothing better to eat than fresh vegetables.  It was summer and I was preparing to make a cake to celebrate my second son’s birthday and it was Friday the 13th; I went out to the garden to water and cut some corn.  I was nearly 7 months pregnant and as the ground was wet, I slipped and fell down, got up and went inside to cook dinner and feed my children.  I felt uncomfortable and went to the bathroom and what I saw scared the life out of me.  There was something coming out of me and it was not my baby.  At that moment, my husband happened to walk in and I called him; he took one look at me, put the kids in the car, bundle me in and drove me to the hospital.  I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who I was not able to hold  even for a minute as he was immediately placed in an incubator.  The doctors were amazed that he was alive because what was coming out of me was the after birth -my baby came after and the cord around his neck-  My sweet boy was taken to another hospital that had better equipment to care for my new baby; my husband would go see him but I did not see him again until almost two months after he was born.  The day my husband brought my baby home I felt like I was in heaven.  I was learning to become a strong woman!

Talk to you later and ’till next time!

Life continued and summer rolled in, I couldn’t believe how hot, humid and long the days became.  I had never seen sun light after 5 p.m. and here it was 9 p.m. and the sun was shinning as if it were noon, that alone was a big novelty to me.  My two boys were learning to speak English very fast and when we were sitting outside with the neighbors or visiting my sister in law’s home, my eldest son would ask me not to speak Spanish in front of people who didn’t understand; his words:  “Is not polite”

Soon after I arrived, I found out that I was expecting my third child, my first daughter whose birth was very unusual.  Since fall had set in, my husband decided to take us for a drive to see the fall leaves, and what a sight they were.  That too was a new experience.  There were purple leaves, and orange leaves, and red leaves, and yellow leaves and then one could see the gold top of the wheat fields swaying in the wind, absolutely beautiful, a true feast for the eyes.  When we set out, the day was cool and clear and we were enjoying the gorgeous views along the two lane, winding river road.  We stopped at a small town along the way, had lunch and started heading back.  All of a sudden, I felt some cramps, turned to look at my husband and told him that I thought a was in labor; he said, no you can’t be and said I had two more weeks to go.  Allow me to tell you that I was fortunate to not suffer for too long with labor pain and my two previous children had been born early.  My husband continued to drive, but then I felt stronger pain and told him to turn around that we had just passed a small hospital; he had to drive farther down the road before he could find a place where he could make a safe turn,; however, when he was making the turn my water broke.   Remember that this was a two lane road and with Sunday drivers it was slow going.   The moment came when I could no longer hold back and right there, by the river side and with my two sons leaning over the back of the seat, my husband driving with one hand while with the other receiving our beautiful baby girl who made her wailing entrance into the world.  Sure enough, my daughter was born two weeks early.  The boys were so excited to see their baby sister and asked how she came to be in the car, but quickly started calling her “Baby Magic”

My husband had stopped the car, got out and came around to my side, opened de car door and bending down he took his daughter and very tenderly kissed her, placed her over my stomach and covered her with a sweater I had been wearing.  Getting back into the car, my husband started driving again and we arrived at the small hospital, he ran in and told them that I had given birth in the car; he was not believed and the orderly brought out a wheel chair.  When he saw that I indeed had given birth, went back inside and brought out a gurney.  Needles to say, we were a novelty in the little hospital and everybody wanted to come in and see the baby who had been born in the car…  My Baby Magic!!  These days, my Baby Magic who has always been a wonderful, thoughtful and loving daughter, is a mother herself, and an awesome mother she is!

I’m wondering, is anybody out there reading my musings??  What do you think?  Ok, enough for now and “till next time!!

 

Hello y’all.  This is day 2 of my self-imposed task of reminiscing, talking and sharing my musings with you.  I hope there’s someone out there who is reading all this stuff, if there’s someone, please leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts!!

Yesterday, I told you about how miserable I was when I arrived in this country, which its been some years ago.  To give you an idea of how long, it was the year of the horrible riots in Detroit when people were burning their own neighborhoods, looting stores, killing each other and creating mayhem (come to think of it, not much different than today)  I remember being scared when I would heard the roar of the national guard helicopters flying overhead and I thought:  “And people say that our countries are bad”  Another clue, I flew in via Pan American Airlines, see, its been a long time.  I told you of how I felt a little better in the spring when the neighbors planted their flower gardens and I could smell the sweet aroma of the roses, when I could hear the birds chirping in the tree branches, now filled with beautiful, green leaves, and the outdoors filled with people’s chatter and laughter.  Yes, I felt a little better but still missed my family and home country so much.  I was lucky to have been born into a very close knit, loving family!

Fast forward at least three decades.  Last night I was invited to share an evening with some wonderful people who used to be neighbors and friends when my children where young and going to elementary, middle and high school.  These persons mother, who now resides in Heaven, was my good friend and adviser.  Well, last night, we sat around the kitchen island drinking coffee and me tea, and chatting about so many different things, looking at school books, remembering the summers when we would sit around a picnic table eating popsicle sticks, or watermelon, the kids playing in the swings or monkey bars, but all laughing and enjoying the warm summer afternoons away.  At some point, we remembered that I had made the high school cheerleaders uniforms, and how we  the mothers, were each other’s support and anchor.  The chat was filled with a lot of laughter that before we knew it was 1:30 a.m.  If you know me, you will know that I head for my bedroom no later than 8:30 p.m.  Soo, yeah, I enjoyed that visit last night.  Thank you to the three girls, the brother and husband to one of the girls for thinking and inviting me to share this time with them!

Back to yesterday.  When I first saw my in laws standing at my front door, I thought, what a handsome looking couple.  My mother in law was this petite, blond and well groomed lady.  She had the most beautiful blue eyes; while my father in law, was taller with darker hair but with kind, twinkling and laughing eyes, at least that’s what I remember.  When we arrived at their home, I met a sister in law and her family; she had two children, a boy and a gil.  The girl, as I remember, was this doll like child with the bluest eyes, page cut blond hair who was so loving to me, this having just met me.  The son took over my sons and tried very hard to make himself understood; remember that we had just arrived from a Spanish speaking country and we didn’t speak English.  A plane flew over and this young boy pointed up and would say: AEROPLANE… to which my sons would respond:  No, AVION!!  This went on for a while and finally the three boys gave up and went onto something else.  Memories!

After a while, life became routine and the three of us began to acclimate ourselves to our new environments.  When I first got married, we lived in my country and we had a cook, a lived in baby sitter and a watchman, I didn’t do anything arduos such as washing cloths or cooking, no I spent my time playing with my baby son, swimming and lounging around… lol… as a result, when I came to this country found out that I HAD TO DO EVERYTHING, and that’s when I found out that I was a lousy cook, so much so that one day my husband brought home a porter house steak, never having cooked one of those things, I chopped it up and pan fried it with tomatoes and onions!!!  That’s the reasons why Campbell soup and bologna became my very best friends.

The neighbors we had were great and some made an effort to learn to communicate with me; the boys didn’t have much trouble and loved watching tv programs:  Captain Kangaroo; Mr. Green Jeans; Bozo the Clown; Speed Rider and others while I stuck with my soap operas; it worked because we learn some English and to this days I maintain that As the World Turns was my best English teacher.  Of those long ago days, I specifically remember one sunny, windless and hot summer afternoon when my next door neighbor invited me to seat in her back yard with some girl friends who were visiting.  While we drank cold tea, one of the ladies shared that she would be flying to Miami to seat in the sun to get sun tanned.  Soon after, I rolled up my blouse sleeves, this lady looked at me and told me:  “O my God, you’re so dark, people are going to discriminate when they see you; and I really don’t like Hispanics.”  Upon hearing that, my part indian (and I don’t mean from India) blood rose up and I told her:  You don’t like brown skin people like me, but you’re willing to pay thousands of dollars to artificially get a little bit of what God gave me naturally”  then I stood up and left.  At that time, one hardly saw Hispanics around!

On that note, have a good, safe and blessed weekend and ’till next time!!

 

I’m so new at this and ask your indulgence with my musings, so here I go!!

I have been so wrong believing that happiness would come tomorrow instead of being happy and enjoying today!!

Some of you will, at some point, find some mistakes in my spelling, syntax this and that, but let me tell you, I was not born nor did I attend school in this country.  When I first came to the U.S, I was unable to speak English, was the mother of two young boys and worst of all, I came in the middle of winter!!  When I left my native country and before boarding the plane that brought me and my sons to join my husband, the last person to hug me was my now late father who told me “You’re going to a new country where you will find many different things, people and a new language.  Learn everything and assimilate everything, but never forget who you are and where you come from” I have never forgotten my father’s words.  At first it was a very difficult time for me, but my mother always told us “necessity has a dog’s face” and I needed to learn English, pronto!!

Well, a few days after we arrived, a Saturday afternoon to be exact, my husband had gone to work and I was alone with my kids, there was a knock at the door and to my surprise there was a couple who were total estrangers to me and worst of all, neither them nor I could speak each other’s language, the couple turned out to be my in laws!!  Somehow, me manage to “understand” each other, we bundled up my children and went off with my in laws to their home where I met the rest of the family.  My husband arrived, we had lunch/dinner and went back home.  My six sense told me that my mother in law didn’t like me because I had brown skin.

During those first months I was miserable.  Having come from a beautiful country that is always green, it was depressing to look out of the window and only see trees with no leaves and no people walking by.  But when spring came and I saw the gorgeous flower gardens and the trees getting their new leaves, and people walking their dogs I felt better, not much, but better.  By the time December rolled around, I’m proud to say I was speaking English, was even trying to read and write it (dismal efforts)  I had the best teachers:  As the World Turns; Dark Shadows; etc. etc.  So I guess I can say that I was kind of self-thought, don’t think?

Alright, enough for now, I hope that you’re not bored, yet.  Please let me know if this amuses you or maybe see yourself in some way.   I’m so happy to share my musings with you.  Have a super happy, safe and blessed weekend, ’till next time!!

 

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